Homesickness

…that which prompts a return to one's homeland, from the Costa Rican adventure

I need my USA fix once or twice per year. I recently returned from a trip to SoCal to see family, the reason for my two-week hiatus from Substack. While there I was able to catch up with loved ones, indulge in foods I’d missed, enjoy the weather and the beach, and yet everyday remember why I moved to Costa Rica. I loved the trip, and I loved my return. Here’s who welcomed me, outside my kitchen window:

Nice-looking and bold as brass

But nasty as they eat eggs and hatchlings of other birds

It was a joy to share time and common interests with family. We binged on favorite TV shows, which I don’t have in Costa Rica. I ate favorite foods, including “junk”. We searched for Dairy Queen, which turned out to be too far and will be a mini road trip during my next visit. I was introduced to In-and-Out Burger, a California icon. I was impressed by the 6 foot 5 (guessing) young man who took our order. He had blazing blue eyes, and he was happy! Looking around, absolutely everyone looked happy in that place. Which surprised me; I don’t know why. I bought and relished Trader Joe’s. Asparagus, GMO corn on the cob (tastes like candy), Idaho potatoes, lobster, and easily accessible ethnic foods went down the hatch.

Not very high brow but buckets of fun. My family humored me by carting me to a hardware store and grocery stores, which are like cavernous museums to me. I see stuff I didn’t even know existed, and immediately want it. I was specifically seeking a thin brad of a certain length, to secure screens on my windows which have delicate wooden strips holding the screens, and for the life of me couldn’t find them in CR. Went to one hardware store and bingo, had two boxes within a few minutes.

I always leave with one more suitcase than I bring. I managed to stuff a vacuum cleaner in my second bag this time. Surrounded by specialty groceries—Manuka honey, Japanese wasabi crackers, Gruyere cheese. I can only imagine the TSA faces as they inspect my bags.

Family, friends, foods, the vast variety of goods, the convenience and familiarity all comprise the siren song calling one back home. The USA is huge, expansive, ginormous, with riotous culture and peoples. It’s currently clashing and banging and sleepwalking its way towards a white supremacist tech bro oligarchy. When there’s been enough, hopefully there will be a correction towards imperfect democracy. In the meantime Bezos’ abracadabra dynasty makes whatever you wish show up in hours. That is a powerful lulling siren song, and very few lash themselves to the mast to avoid responding.

In Costa Rica, frustrations with the systems, delays passed off as “pura vida”, missing family and friends, and social disconnection due to language barrier all nudge one to throw in the towel. Sometimes health issues call one back. I think of two other variables which sway one’s desire to return:

1.) Life here is touted to be something it isn’t by the commercial interests in tourism, which sell rose colored glasses and omits the nitty-gritty. That’s one trap, which is shared by global expat industries everywhere. Research-oriented folks will avoid this trap to some extent.

Costa Rica is romanticized as a “green country” for instance. It’s true, almost all of its energy is produced via hydro, solar and wind. But what isn’t generally known is that Costa Rica uses more pesticides per unit of cropland than the vast majority of countries on the planet. According to the Food and Agricultural Organization of the United Nations, it’s 17^th globally, below countries like Antigua, Turks and Caicos, Barbuda and Qatar.* That actually figures, if folks put two and two together—the most biodiversity equals the most bugs, equals the perceived need for pesticides. The owner of a permaculture coffee farm, El Toledo in Atenas, explained that in the past there was a drive to convert farmers to organic. Farmers tried to make the switch too rapidly and they lost their shirts, so they reverted to their former ways. People here live on a shoestring and such a loss was devastating. And the government doesn’t tend to bail anyone out.

2.) Instead of responding to a dream sold by the tourist industry, some come to fulfill a dream of their own making, such as building the perfect home in the perfect setting. They may become shocked by the regulations, or failure of infrastructure, or how the community reacts. Unless one’s dream is to have an adventure, roll with whatever happens, and experience surprises, the dream is frustrating.

Come to think of it, this skill of rolling with what is, is a familiar teaching for mindfulness and Buddhist leaning folks. Applies anywhere to any situation, a lesson which I frequently forget.

So, returning after my California trip, I was happy to be home, but faced all sorts of breakdowns. The fiber optic internet conked out. The electric gate was broken. My car was limping, and I couldn’t make it up my driveway. Well, I barely did, gunning it and using my hand brake, scaring myself to death. Even though the toucans greeted me, I had a few flashes of “why am I doing this?” thinking life in the USA is simpler, more convenient.

Here's my go-to antidote to homesickness: I intentionally call up the memory of being on the phone with Comcast in 2015, trying to fix an issue with my email. This recollection renews my appreciation for the land of Pura Vida. Being stubborn, I would not quit until my email was restored. I spent over 6 hours on the phone until I hit pay dirt. I called 6 customer service reps, and hung up after an hour with each one, after he/she failed to fix the problem within the hour. The “may I speak to the manager” tactic failed. So I’d start all over again with a new call. The seventh rep accomplished the fix within minutes. I asked him, “Why could you help me when the others couldn’t?” He laughed. He said he’d been there for 7 years, and almost no one else had. Comcast hired people whom they didn’t train well, shoved them onto the front lines, and they quickly quit after being unable to help customers (and tolerating their fury.) The turnover was crazy. Seven appeared to be the magic number for me, though; I quickly shared with all my friends the advice to keep calling back until you get Joe.

Within days of returning to Costa Rica, all my post-return breakdowns were sorted out. There were real people who came and helped me. I almost weep saying this. The internet people came and immediately replaced a cable. No charge. The gate people came and fixed the gate. Charged about 60 bucks.

Given I have a 2006 Toyota RAV4, I was bracing for the end. I was researching how much it would cost to buy a new car or replace the engine. But they keep cars running forever here. In fact, my car is currently insured for the value of the Costa Rican version of the Kelly blue book, which is $12,000. The same value for which I bought it in 2017.

Carlos, my mechanic of 6 years, took my car the next day. He always does a test drive with the customer before he examines it. I love Carlos. I started bringing my car to him when he was a tiny garage and now his garage is huge. His whole family works there.

I climbed into the passenger seat as he started the car for the test drive. He immediately said, “We don’t need to drive. I can hear you are working on 3 cylinders; one isn’t firing.” He got out, opened the hood, showed me the cylinder not firing, and explained there were two possible reasons. After he determined that the ignition coil was bad, and his guy went out on a motorcycle to the parts store and got the part, I was on my way within an hour and a half. $150. No kidding.

I love being able to have people, real people, to deal with. I try my best with Spanish. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more supported, even with all the crazy bureaucracy. Because there are real people here. Not working for huge corporations with remote “customer service” subbed out to the Philippines.

And then there’s AI. Yikes.

View from my front door

Footnote: “Data Page: Total pesticide use per area of cropland”, part of the following publication: Hannah Ritchie, Pablo Rosado, and Max Roser (2023) - “Agricultural Production”. Data adapted from Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations. Retrieved from https://archive.ourworldindata.org/20250718-111234/grapher/pesticide-use-per-hectare-of-cropland.html [online resource] (archived on July 18, 2025).